I launched my walkabout on a full moon — and a blue one to boot. It was an unplanned but auspicious beginning to my journey.
Three quarters of my possessions have been sold or donated. What was left is stored in a 10’ X 10’ storage unit, or is traveling with me.
The storage facility has a gate, a code, locks and overseers. Part of me has been left behind, but it is safe and secure, and this is exhilarating!
I take a surprisingly large amount of stuff in the car with me. Not surprisingly, my trunk is completely packed with art supplies. The meanings to what I gave away, what I stored and what I find essential to keep close are not fully clear.
I head to the Oregon Coast – literally needing a breath of fresh air. The Rogue Valley has been stifling hot and smoky for days. The weeks of planning, packing, cleaning; and the emotional upheaval of leave-taking has left me feeling drained. I need solitude, the soothing rhythm of the waves and fresh sea air.
The night before I leave I visit a friend who is training to be an Enneagram instructor. The Enneagram is system that categorizes people into nine basic personality types. My type is a “9”, also called “The Peacemaker.” “9”s typically lose touch with their own needs, live outside their bodies and merge with others to create relationships where everyone else is content and supported. I know this to be true for me. Nothing makes me happier than to have everybody else happy!
A “9”s own needs can be deeply buried and may need some serious and frightening excavating to identify. This has already started to evolve into becoming a part of my walkabout and my friend suggests I develop what the Enneagram calls “Appetite” — and this is not about food.
I ponder this word on my drive to The Coast. Being a visual person, I image myself looking at a round globe of possibilities and then taking a big bite out of it! After I arrived, I created this collage featuring a blue moon fishy Pac-Man like creature taking a bite out of the world.
Frankly, to have a primitive Pac-Man appear (with such large teeth) was a little disturbing to my most mild-mannered Betsy!
Appetite, however, is a pretty primal word bringing up things like desire, craving, lust, gluttony, hunger, and greed — all things likely to fire-up fear and aversion in the heart and soul of a “9”.
On the flip side — it is also a word evoking longing, passion and yearning – all of which I am in search of on this walkabout.
So can I allow myself to have an appetite? And for what do I have an appetite?
I have no one to please but myself, there is no right or wrong, no one for me to anxiously monitor for contentment.
The world is serving itself up like a meal and it is time for me to bite.
You can read more about the Enneagram here: http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/